Read Morea spiritual practice to start the day is a really helpful way to find some order in myself. Do you have a morning routine/spiritual practice and how is it going?
As the summer comes to a close (again time passing, what the heck?!) I am always moved toward that ‘back to school’ feeling. I welcome the cooler mornings and evening sunsets. I set some goals that I may or may not achieve;
I do a little bit of clean-up in a few parts of my life. I rededicate to my writing in this space, knowing that if I think about writing, I will find so much to say and to write about.
As I’ve taken this approach with the organ in particular, I realize there are some gaps in what I’ve learned, gleaned, and improvised. As I lean in and truly practice scales for real, and think about the numbers system and keys to play in and those patterns, something amazing is showing itself to me!
Read MoreI was on the way to work a night shift when I learned I had ‘a cancer’ in my breast. I really thought it was the hospital calling to tell me I had to float to another unit or that we were overstaffed or something, but it turned out to be the results of a recent biopsy I’d had. Of course, having the biopsy alerted me to the possibility of such a situation but I had tucked it away as something I’d ‘hoped was wrong.’ But ‘I knew all along.’
I worked my shift that night with that new knowledge, and I couldn’t even speak of it because I would have fallen apart. I took care of my patients that night extra carefully and in the downtime googled reasons why I might have given this to myself. I had a hard night. I couldn’t call anyone. It may have been the longest night of my entire life.
Read Morehe inspiration for ‘Dance of Caring Souls’ came from a tattoo Dara got when she first moved to the US from Ireland. The tattoo was based on ‘the Dance’ by Henri Matisse. Later as she was completing her graduate program in Nursing, the image was part of her studies in a nursing textbook demonstrating the Theory of Caring.
To me, this song is an anthem to caregivers around the world, joining hands in peace, with the mission to take good care and support each other not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well. It’s also a thank you note to all of the great teachers we have had that have taught us to care deeply in so many ways…
We all hold a few names… that guided us along the way… they’re the ones who twirled with us… in the dance of care and love
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Anna Marie Henderson and I wrote this song a year ago just when we were figuring out how to thrive in a pandemic. We had been sitting and talking about how it was all going and she told me the story of one of her patients who was very ill and asked her to ‘stop for a minute and hold her hand.’ There is one room on our unit where you can see a small tree growing outside the window and when she was sitting and holding her hand, she saw raindrops falling ‘like teardrops from a branch’ and as time passed the patient was comforted and more relaxed.
We also talked about what is like to work a 12 hour shift in such an intense environment. We work in the Palliative and Hospice care environment and we see so many different types of patients in all age ranges that are getting close to the end of their lives. We spend our days comforting not only the patients but also their family and friends and Anna and I both find it to be very meaningful work that we are blessed to do. We talked about how we come home, sometimes depleted and we turn to our significant others to ‘stop for a minute and hold our hands’ (or our broken bodies from the stress of the day!)
What I love about this song is that it’s a reminder that we are all her and present to care for each other, no matter what the role is. Sometimes in that ‘pause’ is where we realize where we need to take a breath and re-center our focus on what is going on, and it benefits not only the patient, but ourselves and our co-workers as well.
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To me this is a morning ‘mourning’ song. Anticipation of a new day, and the uncertainties it brings. I’m wide awake at 5AM; maybe not quite ready to take on a difficult day. When I pull into the parking garage and take my key out of the ignition and put my mask on, I enter a realm where I must be centered and ready to take care of others in vulnerable states. I must have a steady hand and a caring heart. I must be ready to find answers to questions and learn new things in any moment. I must be ready to think on my feet, and improvise when I don’t know what to say. I pray to a spiritual being to give me strength, to be still and to help me through the day because ‘this is how the day is gonna go.’
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It is a song that I love because it digs hard into what it feels like to ‘not belong’ and the wretched place of being in comparison with someone else. It reminds me of when I wasn’t cool in junior high, and also now, when I wonder where I fit in. I think in general I resist ‘fitting in’ because I know it doesn’t serve me well to give myself over to someone else’s standards.
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‘I’ll Be Here in the Morning’ wasn’t the first Townes song I learned, but it was probably the third or the fourth. In re-learning it for the tribute show, I thought it would be cool sung as a duet. I love this song because it reminds me of traveling, especially touring as a musician. There’s something uncanny about moving on from a place, whether it’s where you live, or a town you just got to a day or two before. Leaving a place commands you to be in the moment, which I really enjoy about touring as a musician. Some days I wonder if I’ll ever really do that again and I wonder if I’m romanticizing it all. Then I realize, yes I am and so was Townes.
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This song seemed simple at first and I thought it would be easy to learn but I have to confess that I struggled with trying to sing it! Singing along with a song you love is one thing, but to figure out how to ‘perform’ it is another. And since Lilly and I have similar ranges, I definitely thought that would be the easy part. But nope. It can be a dangerous moment when suddenly your own voice fails you. The inner voices start in ‘maybe you aren’t such a good singer after all… maybe you should stop this nonsense… no one wants to hear you butcher this song… ‘ and the U-turns of giving up keep on going.
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In the days and weeks to come I drew inward and became reflective of the circumstances around. I started making playlists to cope, and while I was exploring new music, I heard ‘Sing a Glad Song’ by Kevin Morby. The words and music lifted me up and I felt emotional every time I listened to this song.
‘When you get to feeling so bad, sing a glad song, When you get to feeling so sad, sing a glad song... And perhaps we’ll meet again my friend, above the weather. And these coughs in our chests will have gotten better.”
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“I Lost it” speaks to me because I feel like I’m always searching for something. Maybe it’s a memory, maybe it’s my keys, maybe it’s my voice. This song takes me to finding grace over and over again - I once was lost but now I’m found - I’ve heard this song was inspired by a bumper sticker that asks if you’ve found Jesus, and her response was ‘Have I lost him?’
Read MoreCan't wait to shoot the video for my new song called Stetson!
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